276 N. El Camino Real, #184
Oceanside CA 92058


(760) 298-8146
(760) 216-1353








What can you do when it is your child in crisis?

I hope it isn't your child who is receiving a bully's unwanted attention. Often a bully will make some other child's life miserable simply because he or she can. It's just entertainment to the bully. As they say, "Just for the Lulz." [Lulz comes from Internet slang LOL, laugh out loud; Lulz means "just for the laughs.] Interesting - your child's misery just for the laughs of others. What have we become?

I hope it isn't your child who has attempted or committed suicide. From personal experience, I know it is hard to imagine a more searing or lasting pain. My son, Travis, committed suicide at the age of 19. It took me six years to say that aloud, and another year to say it aloud in the presence of another person. So yes, I do understand. That is one reason I do what I do today. This is personal.

Twice in the early months of 2012, I have heard from parents whose children had very recently attempted suicide, both of them teenage daughters. I have also heard from a man who said he and his wife were about to throw in the towel on their ne'er-do-welI son but who decided to give him a hand up once more, thankful they have him alive. I am happy to take those phone calls at any hour of the day or night from friends or strangers.

But if it is you, what do you do?

1. Get emergency help. If your child attempts suicide, your hospital emergency room will have qualified on-staff to help you deal with the crisis. Use them. They may also have an on-site behavior unit to deal with suicide attempts. They are professionals with experience. Listen to them closely. Still, while they know the patterns people follow, they don't know your child like you do. However, keep in mind that your child has secrets and this time, your child fooled you. Never keep an attempt secret regardless

2. If your child attempted suicide and failed, be thankful. Be thankful that you still have the chance to

3. If your child attempted suicide and failed, be cautious. Putting depression aside, the #1 predictor of a suicide attempt to come is the fact that a person has attempted and failed before. Plus, the person now knows what did not work the last time.

4. Read everything you can get your hands on to help you understand your predicament and what to do about it. Start with this website if you'd like; you will find many facts and resources here. But then keep reading.

5. If your friend confides in you that he or she is thinking about harming his/herself, you MUST break that confidence! Tell someone in a position to make things happen - doctors, nurses, counselors, police, hospitals, teachers, principles. Keep telling them until you are convinced that action is being taken. It is better to have an angry friend who is alive than a friend of any kind who is dead.

5. Where is your faith? If you have not been talking with God, there cannot be a better time to start talking with Him than now. Thank Him for his love and protection. God does not (well, rarely) keep crises of this magnitude from happening; He just gives you the means to deal with the crises and can turn this horrifying event to a positive good. There is no better time to be on your knees, talking to your creator and asking for His help. Dig deeply. Keep yourself open and vulnerable. Listen for the quiet voice. St. Paul wrote, "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28, NIV. Even if you have been away for a long time, you won't be the first foxhole Christian to cry out to the Lord. He has been there before. Remember, too, that God already knows what it is like to lose a son of His own.

I'm Steve Stewart. My phone numbers are here on this page. Your information is completely confidential and will not be repeated to anyone.

Steve Stewart Seminars | 276 N. El Camino Real #184 | Oceanside CA 92058 | 760-298-8146/Direct 760-216-1353/Cell |