276 N. El Camino Real, #184
Oceanside CA 92058


(760) 298-8146
(760) 216-1353









Suicide is a Selfish Act

January 18, 2014. This week in Goldsboro NC, in a highly unusual double suicide, two high school students proved again that suicide is a selfish act.

The teen couple, both sophomores, had an argument. It's likely one of them said "I don't want to see you any more" and the other's reaction was "I don't know how to breathe without you in my life" ... so he stopped breathing.

16 year old Spencer pulled his truck over to the side of the highway alone and ended his life. Hours later, 15 year old Malia found him there and ended her life, too. Neither of them got to the half way mark in high school, let alone experience a life.

Certainly, Spencer killed himself where he would easily be found - too late, not thinking that Malia would be looking for him when he did not answer his cell phone or that she would be the one to find his body.

Malia was focused on her loss, not her parent's loss, her friend's loss, the community's loss or the example the two of them set for how to handle losses, period. Somewhere in that community is another young couple having relationship stress. Now on the table for them is the idea, "well, here's how Spencer and Malia handled theirs, and their pain is over."

First, young Romeo. Then young Juliet. And about the same ages as Shakespere's Romeo and Juliet.

And yet, this could have been worse. in 2013, another young couple from Wisconsin ran away from home to be together, taking with them all their cash and a parent's car. The cash was enough to eat on the run for only a couple of weeks if they slept in the car. It's hard to understand sustainability when you're 16. What looks like a pocket full of cash on Day One looks like small change on Day 20. No one can live on saved up birthday money.

But this teen couple did something worse than take their own lives. They took an unwilling driver with them. Leaving behind the message they themselves did not want to live, this teen couple unbuckled their seat belts and careened into opposing lanes of the undivided highway, head on into a pick up truck driven by a mother of three children. So deep was this teen couple's self-absorption that they could not imagine a world further away the the front of their own car. Their reality stopped at the front bumper. And now along with their own grieving families is the sorrow for this mother, her husband, her three children, all her family and friends.

At the moment of suicidal decision, the person about to end his life is thinking mostly or solely about himself. It's "all about me, my troubles, my loss, my embarrassment, my burden." Even reaching out to protect the world - "the world will be better off without me holding everyone back" - is all about the self and thus is a selfish act.

Steve Stewart Seminars | 276 N. El Camino Real #184 | Oceanside CA 92058 | 760-298-8146/Direct 760-216-1353/Cell |